I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize