She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
