So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
