Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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