Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm both gender and math confused
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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