you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
