We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize