OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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