Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
