never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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