The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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