I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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