imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your penis caused this!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize