3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
