Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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