I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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