i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
