The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
