I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
