just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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