Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
