my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
