I wish my penis had an off switch
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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