I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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