I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
