Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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