You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Randomize