you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
