I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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