he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
