Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
