You're my little dorito
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
