We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
