Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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