i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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