The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
