Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
