he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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