During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think your dad took our porno
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
