bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
