and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is wine microwaveable?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
