Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize