so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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