the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
