We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
