in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
