True but thats because hes a fetus.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
