I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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