i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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