Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize