I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
