how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
