it was like having sex with a tree stump
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
