The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
