He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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