i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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