Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
