Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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