I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
