i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
