Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
