Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
