i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
