plz talk dirty to me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
