"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
