What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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