we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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